Do one (Hakuna Matata)

What's on your mind? asks Facebook every day. Hmm, maybe I should have that tab on here. Right now there are certain things I want.

Right now I need to be somewhere else doing something else. I want to empty my mind so that essentially I don't have to write anything here. The page was so nice and white and crisp before I get my fingers on it.

This week every day I wanted to wake up and lay staring at the ceiling for a few minutes before I get up and eat breakfast in a coma. Sitting in my kitchen stark bollock naked, just me and my bran flakes and milk. A king is a well-dressed figure in society in his castle they say. No, sat naked in a one-bedroom apartment is King in my world. I want to sit there and only give permission to the espresso to bring me round.

I am sometimes so glad I live on my own. Nobody to tell me anything. Especially while I am naked with my bran flakes. 'Cos I don't want to speak in any language that I know, I just want to blow raspberries at people and then just grin. I don't care if I look silly. I just want to see the guys I grew up with, with whom we have lived in each other's pockets.

I wanna sit in a pub garden with a glorious pint of Guinness and argue over the England football team starting XI and the pre-season transfer market with them. Actually we arguably discuss those things.

Then I wanna shuffle. Party Rockers in the house tonight.

Right now I wanna sit on the sofa all day with my 3-year old nephew and watch Kung Fu Panda, Lion King and The land Before Time, all back to back. Yup Yup Yup. Then sit on the sofa with my Godson and watch Chowder. Rada Rada Rada.

I wanna sprawl on the floor and play with matchbox cars on the road-system rug with my other nephew.

I want to sit and play with our Star Wars collection with my brother, especially as he's started collecting them again since our dad 'donated them' as we got older and we didn't play with them. I have words with you, father of mine. I want to do silly Ali G and Borat impressions on everything we say with my other brother. Yagjeemash!

I really don't need to work or study right now. I need a mojito, or a few. Then I wanna shuffle again. Every day I'm shuffling.

Actually, I wanna walk along that fallen tree log with Simba, Timon and Pumba and sing Hakuna Matata. Over and over again.

I wanna hit a hundred hockey balls very hard from the top of the area in to the goal. Over and over again.

I need to sleeeeeeeeeeep.

After last week's rioting and looting in London, I wanna loot the looters' homes. See how they like it, that'll learn 'em. And before you correct my grammar, I was being ironic and taking the piss, out of ignorance, seeing as it boils down to that.

There is an Italian phrase that rolls off the tongue even better than in my own English mother tongue. Voglio andarmene fuori dai coglioni. Hmm, translated it basically means I wanna get the hell out.

Fly me to the moon, let me play amongst the stars,
Let me see what Spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.

All the crazy shit I did tonight, those would be the best memories,
I just wanna let it go for the night, that would be the best therapy for me.

This coming week I want the world to just go and do one. And let me do all these things. Then, I will be looking down on it while I'm walking on the moon singing Hakuna Matata.


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