There can be only one

There was a small warning, the doctor was by her side. But she had always pulled through. And I mean pulled through, anything and everything. But when at 6:30pm English time on Thursday the BBC made the announcement that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II had died, there was a freeze-frame moment, a split-second pause to evaluate exactly what had been said, it didn't seem true. 

She was a very old woman, 96 years old, and had been still going about her Queenly duties, allbeit in a slower manner, even beating Covid-19 with only 'mild cold symptoms', where reaching 100 years old seemingly just a matter of fact. Because for the majority of us Brits, it is all we have ever known. She is THE Queen, like there can be no other, as if the monarchy would be no more because there could only be one Queen, ever, amen. Instead we now have a King, her son, an almost alleged heir, where even just the word 'King' sounds strange for us. 

The words of the national anthem 'God save the Queen' was normal and known to all. Now to susbstitute it with a King and 'send him victorious, happy and glorious...' fatigues the mouth when we say those two words, it just doesn't roll off the tongue quite right, almost like learning to pronounce a new language.

So despite her very old age, it is still something of a shock, because in our minds, she is immortal. Like in the movie, Highlander, when Connor McCloud falls out the boat and yells for help, sinking to the bottom of the lake and Ramírez says to him: "You can't drown you fool, you're immortal!" She seemed to just keep going, a living, breathing duracell, through 70 years on the throne with all its trials and tribulations. She was steadfast in her way, dignified and unwavering. An example, an icon and a distinct monarchial point of reference to Kings and Queens throughout the world. She never really wanted to be Queen, but she knew it was her destiny. Even though a privileged life, when many elected leaders of countries in political circles forget all too easily that they are servants to the people and not the 'boss', she is - and will remain to be - a sturdy reminder of how she served her duty to a greater cause. 

So one day she's there and then she's not. I woke up the next day and it was the first thought on my mind...it's not a bad dream. And I have woken up many times in the morning like that over the last two years. A gaping hole has opened to swallow you at the moment of realisation. 

For me, living in foreign lands for so long and seeing the main story-news coverage over the last couple of days, I realise it's not just in the United Kingdom where her loss is felt, but on a global scale, that is the reach she had and how she touched. There are people throughout the Commonwealth who call for themselves to be Republics, you may not believe in a monarchy, but everyone believed in the Queen as a person, because she brought stability, for a damn long time. A lighthouse stood tall above the rocks guiding ships at sea from danger; and now the light has turned off, we can feel lost, left teetering in the dark. 

Like a marriage has its ups and downs, at times having to slog hard to keep the relationship going, we pledge to go forth in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, for our faith, our belief. In the name of love.

So now we have to grieve and accept, because this is what life is. We are not immortal and sooner or later we will all leave this Earth. For her Majesty, there was a 'quickening' of sorts, but not like in the Highlander movie. These last 18 months have taken their toll since the death of her husband, Prince Phillip The Duke of Edinburgh. After more than 75 years together, I think it was too much to bear. It is often said we can die of a broken heart. I look around and see alot has broken as of late...we need resilience, and the ability and patience to repair, like she always had.

We say 'the Queen is dead, long live the King'. Like at every passing, the monarchy goes on as it always has over a thousand years, yet as the Highlander movie says: "In the end, there can be only one." The human race continues but in many ways we feel there can be only one Queen, such is her legacy. 

Though, if we reflect on that movie phrase for a moment, it is true for all of us. Each one of us is unique in being together. I think of my own family, my mum and dad, my two brothers. I think that just maybe we Granvilles have been steadfast and maybe unwavering in our own ways, true to ourselves, but only one each of us, each different and unique in our own collective. Too many people in my world have left in the last two years. I also have a duty to carry them and their legacies forward, a duty to love. We all pay a price in the end for life, it's inevitable. Even Lilibet said it herself.