Stillness in Time
I keep on keeping on, moving forward, I heed Oliver Wendell Holmes' words. It's getting late but I still have a beat in me from when I was cooking dinner. I am funktified. So I sit at my drum kit and funk it out of me.
I quickly journey in to hyperspace travelling at 12 parsecs, or is it 120 or 90 bpm? Whatever, Han and Chewie would like it I'm sure. I settle on a nice round 100. I am entrenched deep in it like X-Wing fighter in the first Death Star battle, protons bolting like basslines. Yes, yes, I am always geeked out too. The 'pssst' of the high-hat like the whisp of the lip of a wave and now I am a surfer on that wave, on that groove. Oh Kanaloa, let me stay away from your Hawaiian shore just for now.
I look for more tunes to jam to, Jamiroquai has always been my go to sound, my forever band and I always find that one piece of theirs for my mood. It rises and travels on those longtitudinal and transverse waves, from the water to sound. My foot pops the drum pedal and with Jay Kay and the gang I am motoring, I am like their album, 'Travelling without Moving'. I know all we're doin' is travelling without moving, can't stop, no. Until I fall upon their track 'Stillness in Time'.
I listen for a moment trying to pick up the beat with the attention of jamming along. But I never get there.
The line stops me, that one line. I dwell on it.
"I guess I'll have to search the spaces of my mind for that stillness in time."
I let the track play out.
The beat in me dwindles and tails off, I sit on my stool infront of my kit, my drumsticks still in hand. I still hang on that line. I was moving and grooving and now the only motion in the night, in the room, is the rising of my chest as I breathe. Like the tide lapping the shore as it slowly retreats, snaking away, yet still it remains. I realise I am done for the evening. I go and clean my teeth and the vibrations of my electric toothbrush kick in, hitching a ride on the remnants of the groove. The timer on the brush seems to come around slower, it should be the standard two minutes but I am ready to hold it to my mouth 'til whenever it decides to stop. The night has come to a standstill, night time is for rest. Finally my mind is empty as I stand infront of the sink and the bathroom mirror, though my gaze is off somewhere I don't even know where in the intentionally subdued light. I now feel that stillness in time.
I took it to bed with me and it woke up with me.
The sun is breaking through the morning haze like from inside the heart of a misty lightbulb. I go out to my terrace and sit in my usual place on my mat to do my usual ritual. My cat follows me and sits on the steps to the garden further infront of me, setting himself to charge with the oncoming sun's rays. It often takes me several minutes to settle in to a meditive state and today as I do, the moment when I want to leave everything where it is and just be present, I have that Jamiroquai line still with me. So I let it stay, and it ends up being a morning ally, a mantra. It helps me ease in and then just sits in the background where I am oblivious to its presence, all the while nudging the spaces of my mind to be where they should be, and how they should be helping me. I sit up straight and crossed legged into my foundation. I close my eyes. The rising sun starts to heat my face, I feel it building in my body, I let it gradually smother over me like a cosy blanket.
Actions are created but stillness is simply here, in all of us, waiting to be addressed. I choose to invite it in. In to my journey, with no destination, no judgement. There is no escape or avoidance. I have made a conscious choice. I have learned not to distract. Even if I do, I observe it and let it be what it is before it quietly leaves. I do not move. I have no thoughts, no opinions, no desires and no anxieties. There is nothing to suffer, instead, if I stick with it, it gives me a reward. I begin to understand and be myself. I am disconnected from everything in this moment but more connected than ever, to every breath, every sound. I hear birds, I tune in to their morning song, I listen closer and can differentiate between their tweets. My eyes are closed yet I observe. Subconsciously I search those spaces in my mind.
Everything moves around me. I remain still, physically, mentally. It feels like a movie scene, I stand routed to the spot on a crowded city pavement as everyone and everything moves around me on fast forward, my breath keeping normal time, even slowing in the face of their bustle.
The feeling of calm presides over me as I finish my session. I open my eyes and sit for a moment more. I look down infront of me to my cat who has joined me in my stillness on the mat. In turn I join him in doing nothing apart from observing everything around me. There is slight flutter of leaves in an acute billow of breeze. Small fluffy marshmallow clouds drift in to my view like boats on the sprawl of blue while I sit anchored to this present moment without purpose. I watch my cat watch, he can do it for hours in a day. Until he succumbs to the sun and curls upwards to let his furry black belly be blessed by its warmth.
I then have my morning coffee. I see the slow thread of steam wave and rise from the Italian mokka, watching it in stillness before I pick it up and pour it in to an espresso cup. The steam thread thickens from the cup and I watch it evaporate upwards before raising it and taking slow sips. I refill. My cat jumps up on the table ands sits, observing some more. Have you ever paused at any given moment for no reason but to be still? During eating, during a walk. As you park your car, turn off the engine and sit for a minute before getting out. I highly reccomend it.
We need to live and move forward, but we need pit stops of just being still.
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