"A very good morning to you despite a bleak outlook over the next twenty-four hours I'm afraid.
We're going to see pressure building up throughout the day, working its way westward, sweeping through the continents with severely strong gusts coming in on all fronts. There will be a high expectancy of meteor showers dotted throughout the planet, tempartures will sore. A hosepipe ban will likely to be put in place and risk warnings have been issued by many national environmental agencies.
With confusion on the warm and cold fronts, hurricanes and tornadoes are a distinct possibility along with cracks along the tetonic plates causing rippling tsunamis thoughout the seven seas. People are not advised to travel today unless completely and utterly necessary.
We'll continue to give updates throughout the day as the predicted chaios unfolds, presuming we are still here. That's all from me this morning, until the next apocolypse."
Oh, it's 23:58. I left this post until the last minute to post to make sure we're all still here. Maya-Schmaya.